New start

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So it’s been less than hetick and I’ve opted for a new look: haha zombie theme cause that’s how I feel most of the time due to an incredible lack of sleep. ..still averaging roughly 2hrs max a night🔜hopefully their is an end in sight or if not I’m just going to assume this is how my sleep pattern is… argh..

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My Garden

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I took some photos of some of the delights we have growing (only some)

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Sunflower blooming

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Catcus i have grown from only a inch size piece

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Zucchini vine going balistic. .also potatoes, onions, pumpkin and tomatoes

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Zucchini

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Zucchini

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Zucchini vine going balistic. .also potatoes, onions, pumpkin and tomatoes

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Zucchini vine going balistic. .also potatoes, onions, pumpkin and tomatoes

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Tomatoes randomly decided to grow with aloe vera

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Hopefully a dark red or pink?

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I have 2 buds ready to open soon

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Minature pink roses

Random

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Today i crashed and burned hard. Ive never been a great sleeper more like an survive only on a few hours sleep each night since i can remember.. but since april something is wrong. I have had very little sleep since then only averaging 3hours max each night, i have had a constant infection of either sinus, mad headaches to the point my eyes and head feel like their going to explode.. i have been to the doctors every month only to be prescribed heavy medications and its still not getting better. .constant green mucus is not cool nor is feeling like death warmed up. Im over it and today im lucky my mum snapped out and apologised for her shit tantrum the other night cause she looked after my daughter whilst i had a nap or i would have litterally fell on the floor.

Bite my tongue

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I held off putting up my grateful challenge yesterday. I had a great day with the kids whilst mum was out and when she arrived home everything turned to mud..or lets say she had a mental blow out.. long story short she has so much emotional and mental baggage she carries and holds on to from her childhood that she has a ‘poison relationship’ with her father. She’s only been recently talking and spending time with him since september this year after quite a few years brake from putting up with his crap..she’s like a child desperatly seeking to please him wven when he treats her like shit. See he wont talk to me or my kids and hasnt for a few years..I’ve done nothing wrong in anyway he’s just an asshole like that. I dont care tho and let it roll of my back like a duck in water.. seriously tho everyone and everything was fine until she come home and its a verbal blow out and i had enough. I dont normally go off at anyone unless they’ve bypassed my tollerance limit and in the process treated me like shit… so in the end after i went ape shit at her putting her in her place..i ignored her and ao did my kids and dad as we have the theory: why keep biting when she keeps throwing out the fishing line for arguments? Like they say silence is a killer and it stops her shit pretty quick and she ends up sulking. So i didnt post a blog last night cause i wasn’t in a “peaceful mind set”. So…
Friday 23rd October I’m grateful for :
🐦 Seeing that my roses are ready to bloom.
🐓 Finding monster tomatoes growing in our vegie garden.
🐷 Finishing another book in my anita blake series! I’m now on to the last 2 books..
🐍My son trying to cook in the microwave.. even tho burnt the microwave & I’m purchasing a new one tomorrow, I’m proud that he had a go. He cooks really well in the fry pan and oven but obviously we need help with the microwave.
🐄 The aircon in such muggy weather.

Thursday 22nd October: i was grateful for :
🐥Reading with my kids.
🐧Random storms that completely saturated the grass and plants.
🐛Standing up for myself.
🐞Chilling out with our fury baby.
🐙My kids being so gentle with our feathered babies. Its way to cute.
🐊 Our furry baby learning our budgies are friends not food.

Do it yourself

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I’m going to say I’m grateful for being my own knowledgeable maintance/repair person. I have been brought up with learning how to do as much as possible in all areas including: cars, house, appliances etc. So it also helps being able to do most of the stuff myself without having to call in costly tradies who (not all are bad) would cost alot to do a job you can do yourself. This is a must do for all ladies to remember…

Having a fridge not cooling properly or the freezer isnt doing its job?? Have you ever cleaned the motor or vent in the back of the fridge?? What?? I’ll show you..

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Right here at the back of the fridge you should see this once you unscrew the pannel…

Wondered why you need to??? Take a look…

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This is a low grade of dust build up… its a major fire hazard also a major reason if you have had a spike in electricity bills…

Its easy to clean/dust..
Needing:
Rubber gloves
Fine paint brush
Duster or vacum with a small head attachment..
Remember turn off the power before you start doing anything..

Get in and remove as much as you can possibly see..

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Once you can no longer see the dust. Screw the cover back on.. turn the power back on and it will run perfectly.

These pictures are from google, not my own fridge but by putting this up i hope to help at least one person or empower them to give it a try.. it wont hurt..

Note: i do this every 4 months roughly and noticed a reduction in the electrical power bill. I also had a kick in the bum from mum to share my knowledge on a simple d.i.y task 💞

Past still bites..

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I’ve decided to share a little background on myself.. so lets open up a can of worms ..

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As a child I was sexually groomed and abused by a ‘friendly neighbour’..

The reason why I have decided to share this is for a few reasons:
If i can make one parent aware that when their childs behaviour starts changing: shying away all of a sudden, becoming withdrawn, reluctance to visit certain people, reluctance to go to events..see if its a link such as one particular person will always be a pin point. You as a parent or as a responsible adult IT IS YOUR DUTY OF CARE to investigate Contact authorities and follow through with appropriate mental,emotional and physical medical help.

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My situation: My sexual abuse happened in the late 80’s early 90’s. I voiced my situation to my mum, friends at school etc but no one took me seriously.. when i told my mum (when i was little) and she didnt believe me or take any action it shattered and destroyed any trust i had in anyone who was “ment to protect you”.. the only person who helped ‘protect me’ was my dad. He found out and straight up threatened the rock spider never to come near us again. Within saying that nothing ever came as a legal follow up, nothing was reported and he got away with it scot free..

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Going back to when I was in grade 3 to grade 4 I was starting to see the world as a different place, a place  filled with predators who hurt little children, a place where it was not longer safe and a place where I would start trusting no one.. During this time we had a neighbor who lived across the road, who threw street parties and the whole neighborhood attended on a regular basis. This neighbor wormed his way into people’s lives with a trusting face and persona; little did anyone know this was just a fake presence to draw you in to befriend someone you shouldn’t. I remember thinking at the time that something was not right with this person, you know the people you meet and your inner voice rings alarm bells saying ‘step away’.. If only I was wise enough to listen… So this is where my life started to change. This man was a predator. Simply put. I don’t know how it all started but I do remember ‘snip it’s’ of the abuse that occurred. Looking back you think of how anyone could be so vial to inflict abuse but being the world we live in its just another factor where evil people think they have the right to take the innocence from anyone they chose. After a long time of abuse from this man, I started to pull back and try my absolute hardest to avoid this man, to avoid his place and to avoid being put in any situation where he would be able to come anywhere near me. Remember that I was only a little girl already with these thoughts built in to protect myself from anymore harm that I knew was wrong. I tried to reach out and tell a few kids a school but nobody listened, to their defense why they would when I was only so young? Why would they when it was thought that ‘children have such imaginations? It came to the point where I changed as a person, I started to withdraw from people, I started to stop being the bubbly little girl, I started to doubt and suspect everyone besides my family and I started to hate the world. After this man moved away from neighborhood  and after a few years of holding onto my ‘disgusting secret’ I remember one pivotal moment where I was laying in bed with mum just talking about school etc.-I just thought ‘no more’ and I told mum exactly what abuse had been occurring. She was shocked to say the least. The things that triggered me off with confidence-or should I say absolute fear as this feral man ‘trying to keep up the happy façade’ repeated random visits to our neighborhood and my house were where I reached my point where I had enough. Enough of living in fear, enough of having to hide every time this putrid man visited and pretending that he was such a kind person… I remember that my mum told my dad and being the man he is and I believe that any father armed with this information threatened that if he ever returned again dad would harm him. To my surprise instantly this man stopped coming around to our neighborhood and especially stopped coming around to our house. This was only a minor solution to the damage that already had been caused.

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Having been through this made me become a very quiet person, very ‘aware’ and withdrawn around anyone I didn’t know and most of all suspect of any men. I learnt a way to deal with this and my ‘escape’ was my dreams. My dreams were a place where I could damage and inflict violence and pain on the man that decided that it was ok to damage such a loving spirited little girl. The other way that I dealt with this was to push everything down, block it out and move on although finding out later in life that using the ‘blocking’ method to cope with hardships is not such a healthy way…Ever heard the saying that too much pressure in the cooker makes it explode?? Later on in life I wondered if I had told the police would he be locked away to be dealt the karma he deserves and knowing that he has two girls of his own now I wonder if his wife has any idea that he is a child predator. I wonder if he has hurt his girls and I wonder if they have the courage to fight back and out him as the ‘rock spider’ he is. But for what it is worth you know you can’t keep playing the ‘what if game’ wasting all your energy and time thinking about all the possibilities. The thing that really made my skin crawl was when my eldest brother passed away and the fucking rock spider showed up at the funeral service. My dad put me straight in the car and locked it for safety when the service was over and nearly strangled the feral. Seriously what a sociopath.

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How has it effected me and how does it still effect me now?
Im not a very cuddly person.. besides my kids I’m definitely not one of those people who do the whole cuddle meet and greet. I Know my abuser has 2 girls of his own and his pathetic wife has no idea about the abuse he did to me…. but what has he done to his own kids?? I really want to take him legally and get comoensation or at least something for what he had done and how messed up its made me. I dont know the length of time that is required to do so tho.. If anyone ever touches my children like that i would seriously take the saying eye for an eye..

Messy

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I love this because it explains the reasons why they need mess: as a teacher and working with kids for 10 years I explained to parents countless times: let them play, let them be messy…

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Why?? I still remember quite a few parents whom were ” clean paranoid ” and their children.. poor kids ended up with such a phobia and not being able to participate in messy play due to the learned fear created by the parents… LET THEM PLAY and LET THEM EXPLORE