Long time between blogs


So I’ve not been able to get on and post anything for a while. Its been a tad crazy with both my kids being sick, I had a major crash and burn health wise and also my mum has been in these really crap high and low moods ie: happy one minute then being a total asshole the next. It’s really put pressure on the house emotionally and I have had to hold my tounge so many times I feel like a big verbal explosion of hateful truths will be spewed out of my mouth and she wont like it one bit of it. I honestly can’t understand the logical thought process of someone thinking it’s ok to be a total ass on all levels and then the next minute showering happy glittering fairy dust everywhere. When this happens oh my god she makes everyone around her feel like a monsterous blackhole as just engulfed everyone and everything surrounding her. It’s her pattern and I’ve had to deal with her feral mood patterns all my life. I wish she was honest with herself and told the doctors the truth on her mood rollercoaster but within saying that: how can she state the truth when she can’t see her destructive learned behaviour.  Honeslty if she did or the the doctor asked me about her behaviours then I would be blunt and honest as anyone could possibly be… I whole heartily grantee that she would be diagnosed with either; bipolar or manic depression and put on medications. It genuinely sucks to be around someone like this who won’t get help, who keep taking their feral moods out on everyone around them, in turn dragging everyone down with them. My only point of venting my complete frustration of her is here. Argh… I honestly feel like im pulling my hair out whilst banging my face against a brick wall…




Seriously i feel like shit. Why? I thought i had the full support of my mum of getting my Implanon taken out yet her passive agressive comment has just left me thinking ‘what the hell is going on?’.

I cant figure her out. Seriously she’s all supportive yet this arvo she said a few things that she was trying to pass off in a joking manner.. needless to say i had a very pissed off demenor after she said what she did and just walked out of the room. Mum knows when i get totally mad as i just wont talk to her. Theirs no point. I am asking the angels to help manifest a complete healing on all levels for my mum. Yes even tho she can be very hurtful and forget the next minute pretending that everything is fine i cant. I ask the angels to manifest that mum starts letting go of her: built up emotional baggage, control issues, passive agressiveness, her mentaland emotional games she plays and so on. I am asking this out of pure intentions as when this ‘push to change and heal’ occurs she can stop being so negative on all levels and home life and all her relationships will improve imensly.