ugh

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Warning I’m sorry but I might throw a few F bombs in this post as I honestly have just had more than my limitations…

I have been having such a hard time at the moment with Mr. Pre-teen. . It’s like he’s hit the wall of puberty and hormones all at once. I was going ok until this occurred and at the moment I feel like a monster mother who has “that problem child”. He was going really well at school then I don’t know what occurred or what part of his mindset made it ok for him to decide it’s ok to talk back, be rude and have the whole “I’m always right’ attitude.

I’m a very patient person but it’s like he is really trying to push way beyond my limits. I feel like somewhere I have failed as a parent but in all honesty I haven’t. Luckily I have an open relationship with his teacher and she’s comfortable telling me straight (as much as she tries not to sugar coat it, as she is one of those gentle personalities) how his attitude and behavior is at school. I feel like an asshole at the moment regarding my son. He has developed this whole attitude of “I don’t care” towards his academic work and thus his grades are not showing his capacities. He downright won’t do it or he has made this ‘diversion tactic” to prevent himself from completing his work. At home he’s started to talk back and trust me I nipped that situation in the ass real quick. I will not have any of my children think it’s ok to smart mouth, talk back, misbehave etc. I was not raised to think its ok for behaviors like this: I was raised old school with manners. So I have worked my single ass off to make sure that my children have been brought up the same way.

The most frustrating part for me and problem the most hurtful part is the lying. Why not admit that you screwed up instead of making what occurred at school only a half truth. I can’t stand people who lie. Plain and simple. So I made it very clear to my son what my expectations are of him on all levels and also told him that I was utterly disappointed in his poor choices. It really has done such a shitty fucking number on me as I received an email from his teacher on Monday stating how great his attitude and behavior has changed… then Tuesday the bomb drops that she was notified that Friday was such a mess (she was absent so she had to get all the information from the other teachers who replaced her). Argh for fucks sake. I ended up writing this post as this morning before school I received a phone call (at my request on a situation that occurred on Friday *apparently the ‘your mama jokes are the in thing at school and the kids use the most foul descriptive language you would only expect to hear at a construction site-not from primary school).. So the phone call I requested was about that and then she apologized to say that Friday was a really shitty day for my son behavior wise. I feel like I am banging my head against a fucking brick wall with my son seriously. This morning before school I went off like a bomb and in no uncertain terms told him and made it very clear how utterly disappointed I am at him. After such a shocking reality check from me (words only but spoken very calmly) he apparently snapped back into who he really is and had a great day. WHAT?? Why does it have to be like this?? Seriously he knows right from wrong yet at school he has a major brain explosion and thinks it’s ok to play up.?!

 

 

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A week of being grateful..

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3rd Nov 2015: Tuesday I’m Grateful For:
🐉Having my post op left hand surgery appointment at the hospital. My surgeon was so impressed with how placid my daughter was and also very patient whilst waiting for me to be seen.
👹Having my right hand carpal tunnel surgery booked for early next year is a blessing as I can have enough time for my left hand to heal first.
🍹Air conditioning: omg it is humid as and the temp is in the high 30C today. Blessed for air con as it keeps us all cool including the fury baby as I think it’s cruel to keep her outside panting whilst we are cool inside.
🐝Having time to put up my blog posts.
🍇Seeing our garden and veggies flourish!
2nd Nov 2015: Monday I’m Grateful For:
☕Coffee- no sleep mummy..
🌲Tinkering in my garden= peaceful and relaxing
☁Tonight there is an amazingly cool breeze gusting through the house= nice and chilly
🌸Being able to read more of my book: “dead ice”
🌻Receiving my financial winnings from my scratchy= not massive but every bit is welcomed!
1st Nov 2015: Sunday I’m Grateful For:
🌷My mum and son actually helping to pull down all the Halloween decorations. Yes I had a spat but it needed to occur as over this past week I’ve managed only 1hr sleep each day and I think that I finally cracked.
🌼Playing and relaxing in our garden with the kids and fury baby.
🌈Massive water play with the kids and fury baby- nice way to cool down
31st Oct 2015: Saturday—HALLOWEEN I’m Grateful For:
🐲Finally the Halloween horror house that has now taken me a solid week to set up is on show. Everyone that came and trick or treated at our house absolutely loved it and said ‘omg this must have taken ages but it looks amazing!”. I feel immensely proud.
🐙The sheer enjoyment from my kids and we all loved dressing up as well.
🍭Taking my son and daughter trick or treating at a few houses.
🍰My son saying he had the best Halloween ever.
🎃My mum realizing how hardcore it was for me to set up the whole horror house and saying thank you (after I lost my shit and had a go at her)
30th Oct 2015: Friday I’m Grateful For:
🍦My financial winnings- not huge but I am grateful!
🌻Being surprised by random flowers etc we find growing so big in our gardens.
🔧My dad helping me fix my sons bike and pretending to fix my daughters 3 wheeler- yes even using our ‘real tools’ so she was included!
My parents spending equal quality one on one time with my kids.
👿Randomly being told that I’m a great mum.
29th Oct 2015: Thursday I’m Grateful For:
💝My 5 minutes to myself.
💆Being able to pee once by myself today was awesome- nothing like having our border collie and my daughter trying to play with my whilst I’m trying to wee.. Seriously..
🐢Starting to write a book for my kids
🐄Being able to get back into my drawing and sketching
🐧Making master pieces of Lego with my kids
28th Oct 2015: Wednesday I’m Grateful For:
🐥Drawing with the kids
💧Random rain showers cooled everything down(and we played in it making mud puddles)
🌞Teaching my fury baby ‘hi 5’
🌺My daughter randomly going up to nana, her brother and pop saying very clearly ‘hello!’
🎃working solidly on the Halloween horror house..nearly their..

Carpul tunnel syndrome post surgery day 1

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Warning I’m going to have a vent…

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Day 1 after surgery

Feeling yuck or more frustrated cause this plaster cast underneath is heavy as, I  weighed it and its 8kgs!! Sorta getting really annoyed as I’m not ment to be doing much if anything with this arm/hand so it can recover but… peoples lazy ass habits dont change.

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Day 1 after surgery

Today ive done way too much with it and ended up taking quite a few pain killers today without successfully killing the pain! I even did heaps when I  arrived home from hospital! I fully change and cloth my daughter – nappies included AND potty training, make meals, vacume, mop etc etc. Needless to say I’m dissapointed in the lack of help.

Education

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Let me start by saying.. my son is in grade 5 and to help him with his homework I often have to go and google what the teacher has sent home…

Any other mum’s out their who have this issue?? I have a moment when I’m looking at his homework and thinking “oh my god what the hell is this?! What does this mean? What does the teacher want?” Then thank the angels for GOOGLE. After a quick search and speed reading, it brings back all the things I did learn in school but yet have had no use for it in the real world. Topic for today is: polygons people lets talk polygon shapes..
There are the basic shapes we know but then it gets really complicated like:

  • Quadrilaterals: The word itself broken down is “quad” meaning four and “lateral” meaning side. The shape also has to be a 2D shape to qualify.
  • Rhombus: The rhombus is better known to most kids as the diamond. Get the kids to colour the rhombus and find the triangles amongst it. With four sides and four 90 degree angles, the rhombus sides are all perpendicular.
  • Heptagon: The heptagon is recognised by its seven sides and seven angles. The heptagon must remain a 2D shape and all sides must be closed for it to qualify as a heptagon.
  • Pentagons: are easily recognised by their five sides and five angles. A pentagon also has tree triangles inside if you join all the diagonals.
  • Nonagons: For a shape to qualify as a nonagon, it must have nine sides and nine angles. All of these need to be closed lines and it also must be a 2D shape. There are regular and irregular nonagons.
  • Decagons: The decagon is recognised by its 10 sides and 10 angles. There are 35 diagonals in a 2D polygon.

So as you can see from the examples above, why I went frog eyed in shock thinking “what the hell” and “where have I used these in real life?” I’m not sure about you but I find it easier to relate things to whatever I need to remember. Such as: rhombus= diamond, hexagon = house etc. I have found that my son retains the information better and recalls it easier when we relate to everyday items.

Trying to figure out why my son has started this “I’m not smart enough thought” (as previously blogged about here unnamed (3)) and asked him what happens in class when he doesn’t understand what the teacher is talking about. He has said he asks for help but the teacher doesn’t really tell us anything to remember them by. Bingo mummy has found the solution. So I will let the teacher know that my son finds it easier to associate things to help him learn.. will keep you posted about the progress. Wish me luck

Cross-Eyed?!

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Tomorrow is going to be an interesting one. Why? Well I currently have a chest infection, very little sleep (average 2 hrs). I had 2 days break from 6 months full on periods but today their back with a vengeance. Ugh! Seriously I don’t know if any woman would be like ‘oh yay I love it!”. Not this little black duck. I’m getting frustrated cause I’m trying to track my ovulation cycles and already going cross-eyed from reading the pee test strips. I swear who ever invented them must be laughing at us as after a while you think “oh I can definitely see a faint line“..geat real (insert laughter here ).

On that note just a random question how many home pregnancy tests did you have to do before you could see the 2 magical lines 100%??

untitled * For my son who is 10: I knew something was different with my body. Intuition.. I ended up doing 11 home pregnancy tests then on lucky number 12 I had a definite = positive.!
* For the pregnancy I miscarried at 14 weeks: I felt flu-like and only did one pregnancy test (at work on my lunch break) and bam it was a straight up = positive. I freaked out massively and went to my 2 trusted best mates (also at work) and cried whilst showing them a massively shaking hand saying “what am I going to do!!” I ended up bleeding out and lost this little soul. I still think about it randomly at times and about the ‘dad’.. he’s still in my thoughts and if things were right at the time he is the man who I would have married .. the one.. I was all ready for the long haul but he wasn’t: he admitted he was scared but loved me and my son 100%..he wanted to commit to his work as it was a massively high paying job and if he did then he would be set for life.. I don’t know why but It just wasn’t our time..but I’m ok with that whole situation I’m just giving a bit of background information on it.

*For my daughter: I had been feeling ‘yuck’ and trying hard to conceive. I became frustrated with the whole process and wanted to fall pregnant like ‘right now’..anyone know that feeling?? Well as I was saying, I went to make my son his breakfast: Wheatbix with Banana chopped up and a sprinkle of sugar and milk.. I cracked open the banana and seriously im not kidding I nearly threw up in his bowl cause of the smell of the banana. After dropping him off at school I spent the whole day Peeing on home pregnancy tests… I did 10 again and on the 11th one (in the afternoon) It came up faint positive..the I did another one about 1 hour later and lucky #12 was 100% Positive!! Haha I even took photos of all the tests I did that showed up pregnant and I have even put those photos in my daughters scrapbooking journal.

Has anyone else had this experience or are brave enough to share?

Banging My Head Against a Brick Wall…Mr Preteen

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As a parent you do your upmost to fill your child/children with:
self-confidence (not to the point of being rude or cocky)
self love, self worth, manners etc everything that they need to have in being able to handle whatever lofe throws at them.

I have had the biggest struggle this year with mr preteen and school. Academicly he is a very bright student yet he fails himself by ‘giving up’ and not bothering to try or apply himself when it suits him. I have an open communication with his teacher of which I’m grateful for as I know it must be hard telling parents about the concerns for the child. I’m not a parent who’s hackles go up and put my rose coloured glasses on, whilst having the mindset my child is perfect. No one is perfect and whats the point of putting your child in bubble wrap?? Everyone makes mistakes and its a part of life that you learn from them and move on.

So as the old saying goes “you can lead a horse to water but you cant make them drink” is 100% accurate. I have done everything possible so far to help my son from taking him to many specialists, therapist’s, tutors etc yet everyone says that he’s bright as just lacks self confidence. I also do extra work with him everyday on all leves such as: academic, emotional, mental, self love and belief etc but still it all comes down to him wanting to help himself.
argh.

Anyone with me?

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wpid-img1439090343638.jpgAny mums out their who have those moments where you just feel like screaming “what the hell is going on”??.

This morning I after a very tough night with little miss, who is teething and having a world record for the most times to wake up during the night.. I feel like a zombie just going through the motions. I laugh at the advice they give you: if you’ve had a really rough night with your bub/toddler sleep when they do…. That makes me laugh.. I’m not a very good sleeper at the best of times and often about once a week I hit my crash and burn wall on the weekends. Brain explosive idea today: I’m going to try and have a sleep when my daughter does.. so I tried.. you know how you feel like your walking dead weight from so much exhaustion and sleep deprevation you feel like you’ve been put on slow motion? Well that was me today..

So little miss had been asleep for about 10 minutes before I picked her up out of her porta cot and carried her to my bed..double checked with mum if its ok and my son just said “seriously I love you but you look like your eyes are bleeding their so red. Nan and I are going to have our time anyway.” So yep she’s still snoozing and I feel like I’m about a blink away from sleep. All comfortable, eyes closed and Its like my brain is laughing at me with a million thoughts pumping through my brain.. getting a tad irritated here as my body is screaming for sleep.. So I’m thinking nope I need to have just 20 minutes. ..brain: hahaha now after 15 minutes I’ve given up as my brain is still laughing at my attempt.. I’m not happy.. get up and end up downing more coffee after I move a sleeping angel back into her porta cot whilst I play xbox with my son..

Seriously note to brain: you really irritate me sometimes.!!

Vent

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Seriously i feel like shit. Why? I thought i had the full support of my mum of getting my Implanon taken out yet her passive agressive comment has just left me thinking ‘what the hell is going on?’.

I cant figure her out. Seriously she’s all supportive yet this arvo she said a few things that she was trying to pass off in a joking manner.. needless to say i had a very pissed off demenor after she said what she did and just walked out of the room. Mum knows when i get totally mad as i just wont talk to her. Theirs no point. I am asking the angels to help manifest a complete healing on all levels for my mum. Yes even tho she can be very hurtful and forget the next minute pretending that everything is fine i cant. I ask the angels to manifest that mum starts letting go of her: built up emotional baggage, control issues, passive agressiveness, her mentaland emotional games she plays and so on. I am asking this out of pure intentions as when this ‘push to change and heal’ occurs she can stop being so negative on all levels and home life and all her relationships will improve imensly.

Ugh

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Having a bit of an inner meltdown at the moment. You know the ones where inside you wanna scream or swear like a trooper.. but on the outside you look fine? Thats me. Dont get me wrong i love my mum but all my life she has been a woman of unpredictable moods. She lives in the past, always plays the victim and feeds of it. Me: I’m the rainbow in the downpour: i hate sympathy it litterally makes me mad. I never play the victim as i have held this theory: play the victim and your life stops or cowboy up and laugh about it. Rodeo baby! This afternoon my mum had a mood change and randomly made a nasty comment about my choice to remove my implant. Tried to pass itt off as a joke after i bit back at what she said. Me= i dont take crap. So she got that message loud and clear when i stated im not interested in her game. My whole life with my mother is a head game. I thought f you seriously and just wont talk to her at the moment. Such a nasty person when she has a mood then plays the part of ‘whats wrong with you? What are you pissed at? Etc.’ If i was able to purchase my own house i wouldn’t have to put up with this crap. When shes good its great but when a mood hits you can cut the air with a knife. Anyone have any situations like this or advice?