When I had my first child I was in a really bad situation on all levels. Bad relationship of which involved domestic violence on all terms. I ended up such a broken person with such a shattered spirit. People who say “oh why dosent she just leave” honestly have no idea what their talking about. How can someone so beautiful end up such a broken shattered spirit?
Easy. When you start dating someone and they put on a mask pretending to be someone their not, you get sucked into the fake persona. You get ripped off. In my experience you actually fall in love with the person they pretend to be. Later down the track (im talking pass the 9month to 1 year mark) things for me started to crack and small traits showed them true self.
When this happened i thougt “no way seriously he must have been just having a moment..” and insert any other disbelief thoughts in here. Then the controlling started and it happened so fast i didnt know what the hell was happening. Life what you say??
Verbal abuse, snide comments, demeaning remarks, being selfish, hiding that he was smoking tobacco and later on (after i had sone the runner) found out was drug using, stripped me from my friends, family, isolation, physical abuse and the list goes on. Funny how on the outside everyone thought everything was normal. The difference was at home it was hell. I bless and im so greatful for “lifeline” as i called them in tears countless times. I had a really stupid family doctor and when i showed him the physical abuse he just very ignorantly put me on anxiety medications, wrote notes on my file and sent me on my way. What the fuck?! Doctors are ment to report this and have a duty of care!! He had me 4x the maximum dosage which inturn made me completely numb on all levels as a person and enabled me to cop more floggings without being able to speak up.
Moving on… i was smart enough to take photos of everything, kept a secret diary written in code which later on proved to be key point evidence into why i have been granted a life long domestic violence order and sole custody of child #1. It came to the point i did the runner after a few weeks of reparing the damage the ex caused to my family and thankfully i was accepted back with loving arms,hugs and many tears and apologies from both myself and my family. When your that broken from all his damage you dont notice what had been done by him behind the scenes. I suffered serious anxiety attacks, panic attacks and post traumatic stress including horrific nightmares from that person. Im so glad that something snapped inside myself and especially with help from my mum whos a retired nurse was shocked to say the least at the medication i was placed on, negligence from the g.p on all levels and helped me to see the shining light at the end of the tunnel.
If your in that situation no matter what anyone says, when you are so deep in that hole you cant see or think clearly. Their are so many thoughts or ideas that women who stay are stupid etc but let me tell you THEIR NOT. Im a highly educated woman with many degrees under my belt but at the end of the day looking back at how you fall in love with someone who puts on a fake face/persona etc for almost a year… you tell me how you would feel… so if you know anyone whos in any situation like this: talk to them. The smallest thing like saying “hi are you ok” could be their turning point where they have their life changing moment of “enough is enough” and realise it’s not normal and relationships are not ment to be this way.