Bleh

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Going to have a bit of a vent here:

💫 Currently surviving on very minimal sleep and its been an on going thing. . Adding into that mix I’ve been diagnosed with extreemly low levels of iron and possibly need iv transfusions..

😨My 2 year old daughter sleeps now from 8pm to 930pm then its party time until I  can eventually get her back to sleep at the wee hours in the morning… omg whoever said toddlers not sleeping during the day instead all through the night has been sugar coating..

😥 I feel like a walking corpse at most times and im not one to whinge… but I really feel I’m close to breaking point. ..

😤 i ended up having my right carpul tunnel surgery done and found out that I had shattered my wrist… that was back in early march and my hand/wrist is still trying to mend…

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Stop Growing up

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Today Is  my son’s last say of Grade 5.. I cant believe where the time has gone. I still remember being pregnant and holding my little boy in my arms for the first time… i keep telling him he needs to stop growing up and he just laughs at me whilst reminding me that in 2016 he will be a senior of primary school (grade 6).. Nnooo xx

Long time between blogs

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So I’ve not been able to get on and post anything for a while. Its been a tad crazy with both my kids being sick, I had a major crash and burn health wise and also my mum has been in these really crap high and low moods ie: happy one minute then being a total asshole the next. It’s really put pressure on the house emotionally and I have had to hold my tounge so many times I feel like a big verbal explosion of hateful truths will be spewed out of my mouth and she wont like it one bit of it. I honestly can’t understand the logical thought process of someone thinking it’s ok to be a total ass on all levels and then the next minute showering happy glittering fairy dust everywhere. When this happens oh my god she makes everyone around her feel like a monsterous blackhole as just engulfed everyone and everything surrounding her. It’s her pattern and I’ve had to deal with her feral mood patterns all my life. I wish she was honest with herself and told the doctors the truth on her mood rollercoaster but within saying that: how can she state the truth when she can’t see her destructive learned behaviour.  Honeslty if she did or the the doctor asked me about her behaviours then I would be blunt and honest as anyone could possibly be… I whole heartily grantee that she would be diagnosed with either; bipolar or manic depression and put on medications. It genuinely sucks to be around someone like this who won’t get help, who keep taking their feral moods out on everyone around them, in turn dragging everyone down with them. My only point of venting my complete frustration of her is here. Argh… I honestly feel like im pulling my hair out whilst banging my face against a brick wall…

More shenanigans

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Today I’m grateful for :
🌺 Having a beautiful monarch butterfly fly past me and gently touch my cheek as if to say hello.
🌿 Meeting a neighbors mum who has the thickest Scottish accent.
🌹 My daughter “helping” me put up more halloween decorations in the yard.
🌷My son who is 10 still wanting to cuddle up to his sister even tho she was attempting to have a meltdown with full blown tears and trying to comfort her.
🌻 My son giggling in hysterics as i purposly sang extremely loud on the way home from school and on purpose sounding like a dying cat.

Jump scares..

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Today I’m grateful for :
😱Making halloween props and placing them outside… couldnt stop laughing as a dude driving a truck pulled up outside and after 4 looks went “holy shit thats scary!” (I have only put up 2 props so far hahah…)
🎭My kids laughing hysterically as nana chased them around going “rah”..hehe my daughter was absolutly hysterical laughing.
🐝 Randomly jump scaring my mum and son was priceless..my son wasnt scared but mum freaked then couldn’t stop laughing like muttley..
🐉 My son having a great dayat school after returning from his surgery.
🐲 Reading more of my book.

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Today I’m grateful for :
💚Seeing out beautiful garden flourish with amazing suprises.
💜Laughing withmy kids
💙Thinking how adorable as my daughter brushes our furry baby and gives her a cuddle whe shes done. Iur dog has the patience of a nun.!
💖 My son being excited to go to school tomorrow: after surgery he’s finally go the all clear.
💛 My parents spending equal time with my kids.

Saturday 24th i was greatful for:
💗 My mum realising i needed help and watched my kids while i crashed and burned (way to sleep deprived)
💓 Pillow blanket camp time with the family.
💘 Our crazy animals.
💝The rain!
💟 Starting my next book in the anita blake series “Jason”

Bite my tongue

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I held off putting up my grateful challenge yesterday. I had a great day with the kids whilst mum was out and when she arrived home everything turned to mud..or lets say she had a mental blow out.. long story short she has so much emotional and mental baggage she carries and holds on to from her childhood that she has a ‘poison relationship’ with her father. She’s only been recently talking and spending time with him since september this year after quite a few years brake from putting up with his crap..she’s like a child desperatly seeking to please him wven when he treats her like shit. See he wont talk to me or my kids and hasnt for a few years..I’ve done nothing wrong in anyway he’s just an asshole like that. I dont care tho and let it roll of my back like a duck in water.. seriously tho everyone and everything was fine until she come home and its a verbal blow out and i had enough. I dont normally go off at anyone unless they’ve bypassed my tollerance limit and in the process treated me like shit… so in the end after i went ape shit at her putting her in her place..i ignored her and ao did my kids and dad as we have the theory: why keep biting when she keeps throwing out the fishing line for arguments? Like they say silence is a killer and it stops her shit pretty quick and she ends up sulking. So i didnt post a blog last night cause i wasn’t in a “peaceful mind set”. So…
Friday 23rd October I’m grateful for :
🐦 Seeing that my roses are ready to bloom.
🐓 Finding monster tomatoes growing in our vegie garden.
🐷 Finishing another book in my anita blake series! I’m now on to the last 2 books..
🐍My son trying to cook in the microwave.. even tho burnt the microwave & I’m purchasing a new one tomorrow, I’m proud that he had a go. He cooks really well in the fry pan and oven but obviously we need help with the microwave.
🐄 The aircon in such muggy weather.

Thursday 22nd October: i was grateful for :
🐥Reading with my kids.
🐧Random storms that completely saturated the grass and plants.
🐛Standing up for myself.
🐞Chilling out with our fury baby.
🐙My kids being so gentle with our feathered babies. Its way to cute.
🐊 Our furry baby learning our budgies are friends not food.

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Tuesday 20th oct I am grateful for :
💗 Keeping up this grateful challenge.
💜The soare few minutes I have to post on my blog.
💛 Drawing with the kids.
💚 Playibg soccer withthe kids and laughing as the fury baby joins in
💙 Water play!!
Monday 19th October; I was grateful for:
🌷Planting sunflower seeds with the kids…i end up growing multi heads on one huge stem. My biggest count on one large stalk is 15!
🎃 Laughing at my mum and kids playing with this interactive candy bowl we purchased for halloween..priceless
🎀 Reading a bit more
🍬 Setting up some of my monsters for the horror house in the garage…dad walked in an instantly said wtf..haha
🍒Playing with our feathered babies!

Suprise

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Today I’m grateful for :
😈Creating specimen jars for Halloween with the kids. .. funny as..

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Rubber glove filled with water and marked with a grubby band aid + nikko..

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White Styrofoam balls = black sharpie pupil, red pen then red food dye. Added glad wrap bunched at the top to have an even fill in the jar..

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Skull head, rats and maggots in red food dye..
🐦 Playing with the kids in mud!
🐲 Warm /hot bubble baths with my daughter.
🐞 All the butterflies in our gardens.
🐛 The warm sun was nice whilst we were all checking out our vegie garden.

Boo

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Today I’m grateful for :
💖 having my kids getting completely filthy with me in the garden whilst we made more halloween props.. yes we go all out and end up having a horror house.  The neighbourhood love it and always keep coming back.!
💟 Having the strength to not go off at someone today even tho they completely deserved it. ..
💜 Laughing with my kids is priceless
💛 My daughter riding around on her 3 wheeler going “mmmrrrmmmhhh”
💚 My son whom loves playing wqith his sister

👼

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Today I’m grateful for :
🐞 being able to have a nap with my daughter. I’ve been so I’ll since i had my carpul tunnel surgery in september and today i felt like i could have slept standing up..very unusual for me!.
🌷More halloween decorations made with the kiddies.
🍇 making another blanket and pillow picnic with the kids. All 3 of us are ill..
🍦 watching my daughter tap my son on his arm, said his name, put her hand to her mouth and said dum..this indicating she would like her dummy. Once he returned with one she kisses him and said ta without being asked. Cute!
👜  Laughing as i finally get to have a pee by myself with the door closed. .honestly 2 seconds later our fury baby thumps herself at the closed door and sighs waiting until i finish . priceless..

Butterflies

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Today I’m grateful for :
🎍Spending another day in the garden with the kids and our fury baby.
💐Seeing how our garden is attracting so many various butterflies is beautiful.
💎Drawing with the kids= creative little minds.
🔨Doing my d.i.y maintance tonight
💢Mending and attending to my dad who had an accident at work. Seriously he got a mouthful of his stupidity as it needed stitches and it needed to be reported due to his workmen being unsafe!!..

Garden

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Today I’m grateful for :
💚Spending most of the day outside in our backyard with the kids and our fury baby. Involved alot of digging, planting, mowing, water play..
💜My daughter spent a solid 3 hrrs in undies today without accidents
💙My son doing well post surgery even tho he is in alot of pain
💓The warm sun until it became stinking hot..walked into our aircon house and it was bliss
💛 Being able to do more physio on my post surgery hand…omg it kills afterwards but im also grateful for the pain killers.

Pillows

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Today Im grateful for:
🌈 Being able to have 30mins sleep..still powering on but i seriously so dont know how with left than 6hrs since wednesday..
🌷New sheets on my huge bed.
🌴Water play with the kids.
🍓Building another pillow/mattress huge picnic in the lounge room whilst trying to relax with the kids watching a movie.
🌹 laughing as my daughter used the hand signal for “come” to our dog.. the dog followed her for 15 minutes and my daughter gave our sog huge gentle cuddles. Very cute indeed.

Saturday

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Today i feel like a wreck.. 4 days and still no more than 5hrs sleep. My body is screaming in protest for sleep and i so want to give in but my mind is running non stop.

Today I’m grateful for :
🐙 Gardening. Today my minions found massive tomatos growing and we also have a huge zucchini bush now..
🐉 I finally had the opportunity to fence off the vegie garden so our fury baby doznt nest or sit on the plants.
🐲 Laughing and random cuddles with my family.
🐛 Having the opportunity  (thanks to my mum and little miss sleeping) to get my nails done  Its the only thing i treat myself to.
🐠 Playing with my kids and seeing their little personalities shine bright.