New start


So it’s been less than hetick and I’ve opted for a new look: haha zombie theme cause that’s how I feel most of the time due to an incredible lack of sleep. ..still averaging roughly 2hrs max a night🔜hopefully their is an end in sight or if not I’m just going to assume this is how my sleep pattern is… argh..


A week of being grateful..


3rd Nov 2015: Tuesday I’m Grateful For:
🐉Having my post op left hand surgery appointment at the hospital. My surgeon was so impressed with how placid my daughter was and also very patient whilst waiting for me to be seen.
👹Having my right hand carpal tunnel surgery booked for early next year is a blessing as I can have enough time for my left hand to heal first.
🍹Air conditioning: omg it is humid as and the temp is in the high 30C today. Blessed for air con as it keeps us all cool including the fury baby as I think it’s cruel to keep her outside panting whilst we are cool inside.
🐝Having time to put up my blog posts.
🍇Seeing our garden and veggies flourish!
2nd Nov 2015: Monday I’m Grateful For:
☕Coffee- no sleep mummy..
🌲Tinkering in my garden= peaceful and relaxing
☁Tonight there is an amazingly cool breeze gusting through the house= nice and chilly
🌸Being able to read more of my book: “dead ice”
🌻Receiving my financial winnings from my scratchy= not massive but every bit is welcomed!
1st Nov 2015: Sunday I’m Grateful For:
🌷My mum and son actually helping to pull down all the Halloween decorations. Yes I had a spat but it needed to occur as over this past week I’ve managed only 1hr sleep each day and I think that I finally cracked.
🌼Playing and relaxing in our garden with the kids and fury baby.
🌈Massive water play with the kids and fury baby- nice way to cool down
31st Oct 2015: Saturday—HALLOWEEN I’m Grateful For:
🐲Finally the Halloween horror house that has now taken me a solid week to set up is on show. Everyone that came and trick or treated at our house absolutely loved it and said ‘omg this must have taken ages but it looks amazing!”. I feel immensely proud.
🐙The sheer enjoyment from my kids and we all loved dressing up as well.
🍭Taking my son and daughter trick or treating at a few houses.
🍰My son saying he had the best Halloween ever.
🎃My mum realizing how hardcore it was for me to set up the whole horror house and saying thank you (after I lost my shit and had a go at her)
30th Oct 2015: Friday I’m Grateful For:
🍦My financial winnings- not huge but I am grateful!
🌻Being surprised by random flowers etc we find growing so big in our gardens.
🔧My dad helping me fix my sons bike and pretending to fix my daughters 3 wheeler- yes even using our ‘real tools’ so she was included!
My parents spending equal quality one on one time with my kids.
👿Randomly being told that I’m a great mum.
29th Oct 2015: Thursday I’m Grateful For:
💝My 5 minutes to myself.
💆Being able to pee once by myself today was awesome- nothing like having our border collie and my daughter trying to play with my whilst I’m trying to wee.. Seriously..
🐢Starting to write a book for my kids
🐄Being able to get back into my drawing and sketching
🐧Making master pieces of Lego with my kids
28th Oct 2015: Wednesday I’m Grateful For:
🐥Drawing with the kids
💧Random rain showers cooled everything down(and we played in it making mud puddles)
🌞Teaching my fury baby ‘hi 5’
🌺My daughter randomly going up to nana, her brother and pop saying very clearly ‘hello!’
🎃working solidly on the Halloween horror house..nearly their..

Bite my tongue


I held off putting up my grateful challenge yesterday. I had a great day with the kids whilst mum was out and when she arrived home everything turned to mud..or lets say she had a mental blow out.. long story short she has so much emotional and mental baggage she carries and holds on to from her childhood that she has a ‘poison relationship’ with her father. She’s only been recently talking and spending time with him since september this year after quite a few years brake from putting up with his crap..she’s like a child desperatly seeking to please him wven when he treats her like shit. See he wont talk to me or my kids and hasnt for a few years..I’ve done nothing wrong in anyway he’s just an asshole like that. I dont care tho and let it roll of my back like a duck in water.. seriously tho everyone and everything was fine until she come home and its a verbal blow out and i had enough. I dont normally go off at anyone unless they’ve bypassed my tollerance limit and in the process treated me like shit… so in the end after i went ape shit at her putting her in her place..i ignored her and ao did my kids and dad as we have the theory: why keep biting when she keeps throwing out the fishing line for arguments? Like they say silence is a killer and it stops her shit pretty quick and she ends up sulking. So i didnt post a blog last night cause i wasn’t in a “peaceful mind set”. So…
Friday 23rd October I’m grateful for :
🐦 Seeing that my roses are ready to bloom.
🐓 Finding monster tomatoes growing in our vegie garden.
🐷 Finishing another book in my anita blake series! I’m now on to the last 2 books..
🐍My son trying to cook in the microwave.. even tho burnt the microwave & I’m purchasing a new one tomorrow, I’m proud that he had a go. He cooks really well in the fry pan and oven but obviously we need help with the microwave.
🐄 The aircon in such muggy weather.

Thursday 22nd October: i was grateful for :
🐥Reading with my kids.
🐧Random storms that completely saturated the grass and plants.
🐛Standing up for myself.
🐞Chilling out with our fury baby.
🐙My kids being so gentle with our feathered babies. Its way to cute.
🐊 Our furry baby learning our budgies are friends not food.



Today I’m grateful for :
🐞 being able to have a nap with my daughter. I’ve been so I’ll since i had my carpul tunnel surgery in september and today i felt like i could have slept standing up..very unusual for me!.
🌷More halloween decorations made with the kiddies.
🍇 making another blanket and pillow picnic with the kids. All 3 of us are ill..
🍦 watching my daughter tap my son on his arm, said his name, put her hand to her mouth and said dum..this indicating she would like her dummy. Once he returned with one she kisses him and said ta without being asked. Cute!
👜  Laughing as i finally get to have a pee by myself with the door closed. .honestly 2 seconds later our fury baby thumps herself at the closed door and sighs waiting until i finish . priceless..


Today I am grateful for:

  • My son working with the teachers and myself to correct his ‘avoiding learning behaviors’
  • My daughter who decided to play, splash and soak herself and our dog with the dogs water bowl. Apparently they both needed to cool down and get wet!
  • My mum for letting me make her laugh when she broke down with some pretty shitty news.
  • My dad for letting me fix an redress his busted finger.
  • Coffee- yes I say this quite a bit but something so simple helps me somehow keep functioning on very little sleep a.k.a ZOMBIE.



Today I’m grateful for :
💖 Washing our sooky border collie. Seriously she will only let me wash her and yes shes not happy until she saturates me as well..
💜 My son being motivated to do his homework and extra work I set out for him..without moments I might add! Yay!
💛 My daughter who tonight waved goodnight to poppy. He thought it was the best thing ever.
💚 Coffee most definitely.
💙 Laughing at my dad who gets irritated with our puppy, as all she wants is cuddles and wont leave him
alone until he caves in.
💟 Watchings sister act dvd with mum for the bazillionth time. My daughter dances to it whilst my son sings.



Today I’m grateful for :
🐙Being able to get my nails done.
🐛Being independent as I can do all my house maintance etc.
🐳 My kids who give me random cuddles and kisses.
🍹The warm sun that is able to recharge me even for 5 minutes.. crash and burn is comming and my bed is calling my name..come on angels I would really appreciate 1 night of more than 2hrs sleep..PLEASE
🐞 Our dog who is so sooky.

Anyone with me?


wpid-img1439090343638.jpgAny mums out their who have those moments where you just feel like screaming “what the hell is going on”??.

This morning I after a very tough night with little miss, who is teething and having a world record for the most times to wake up during the night.. I feel like a zombie just going through the motions. I laugh at the advice they give you: if you’ve had a really rough night with your bub/toddler sleep when they do…. That makes me laugh.. I’m not a very good sleeper at the best of times and often about once a week I hit my crash and burn wall on the weekends. Brain explosive idea today: I’m going to try and have a sleep when my daughter does.. so I tried.. you know how you feel like your walking dead weight from so much exhaustion and sleep deprevation you feel like you’ve been put on slow motion? Well that was me today..

So little miss had been asleep for about 10 minutes before I picked her up out of her porta cot and carried her to my bed..double checked with mum if its ok and my son just said “seriously I love you but you look like your eyes are bleeding their so red. Nan and I are going to have our time anyway.” So yep she’s still snoozing and I feel like I’m about a blink away from sleep. All comfortable, eyes closed and Its like my brain is laughing at me with a million thoughts pumping through my brain.. getting a tad irritated here as my body is screaming for sleep.. So I’m thinking nope I need to have just 20 minutes. ..brain: hahaha now after 15 minutes I’ve given up as my brain is still laughing at my attempt.. I’m not happy.. get up and end up downing more coffee after I move a sleeping angel back into her porta cot whilst I play xbox with my son..

Seriously note to brain: you really irritate me sometimes.!!